07:03 pm

So many things hurt me..

If you..

Because you are the best what've happened in my life

thank you so much for being with me.. Te amo ♥

¿ARE YOU STILL MINE?

In my tired body there's no exist more promises anymore, dreams or desires,
only a deep and silent love, a blinded love that conquered my spirit,
that made me be free in the fullness of its essence,
that took me to the safe home of a patient love, warmth, innocent.
I loved you with my eyes looking through your soul,
with these hands that day by day harvested words of love for you,
with my tears full of feelings and pain, with my silent lips, despertare of you,
with my heart longing you as its long for eternity.


I've loved you with my impefect nature, with my sadness and troubles.
I've loved who you are, in the distance to recognize just your essence,
to satisfy myself only with your existence.
I had lived with the heat of your own longing, of your love to me.


We've been confident of each-other, friends, partners, lovers..
I've been your hands and you've been my eyes,
through which we looked the moment of a piece of precious
and lonely world to love just you and me,
without more witnesses that this love that burns each-other,
but look my love, this rose has also thorns, this love also consumes us,
it hurts so much as the abscence itself, as the oblivion,
 as a disease without cure.


Pheraps, my words can not reach anymore your frozen heart
in this premature winter,
in these cold fields where your soul takes refuge away from me..
where is your soul, why i can't find your look in front of mine..
¿Why are you hiding your heat from me?


We live just the passion of the separated lovers,
in a cruel and tortuous agony to find us,
to release in some way this fire that kills us,
that involves in ashes your need and mine.
But in the shadows of night,
when everything involves me and im little and alone,
all trembles, its getting big, it reduces me to tears,
i can only think in your sorrow and mine,
in your heart so separated and aching,
in this love that we've let to the will of wind and cold,
in a place so lonely as my heart without you.


I know i've made many mistakes, im regretfull for all of them,
and i suffer them each day, to each moment
when my eyes cross with yours in my thoughts,
to each instant when my heart remembers you
and i feel you away, so away and distant from me,
each time i see the passing of the hours and i can't stop the time,
and i can't change the world and i cant change to myself,
or change the emotions that made me to hurt you,
what i said and what i've done,
and all i can do is to tighten the lips and cry in silence.


To cry and cry for you and me, to be together and not to be,
for your absence and mine, for your love that has not roses to me anymore,
for the golden moments that had let in the memory,
for wanting to hold your hands and kiss your eyes,
say that i love you and cry in front of you,
lying down in your lap and so ashame to have hurt you,
as a little child, indefense and humble, and then you are there,
with that peacefull face, with your look always clear,
always transparent to me..


To cry, because when hours has gone,
when the fights has left behind, delayed,
when souls rest and the night is our mother,
the tears are a river that doesn't stop,
and i just want to stretch my hand in the darkness and feel yours, loving and warm,
to look into your eyes, whose are always welcomes,
i want just to touch your heart, to touch it tender and deeply
with the essence of my love, i just want to feel newly  your nearness,
of that, your frozen heart.
 

He was my best friend,
he was my guide..

Today i agrieve all what is gone, all what we have lost, for all the days and the moments
we let go away as a breath. I feel sorry that my hands can not hold yours,
that my eyes can not guide anymore the light of your green eyes.
Today i know i'll never could say goodbye to you, that never i could let go away all of you,
because even in the distance, you belong to me more that any other who can be with you,
more than yourself. You are so mine as i am of you.
You take away with you the most sincere of my soul.
I have not strength to let you go, even if i can not retain you.
In this moment, when the hours are high and the place where i am is darkens
by the colour of the night, my feelings tremble scared into my soul,
my heart is hurt and my eyes cry openly.
This abscense is too much, this abscense is desolation, is loss, is emptiness and oblivion.
When the voice of world has gone and in my empty and desert lair there is nothing more
but just my aching heart, my eyes get open painfully, i feel so alone, so poorly abandoned..
i've lost who was my best friend, and now i have just the gray and broken pieces
of a cold and hostile world.

In this frozen hour, when the world stopped, and i felt you goin away from me so quickly,
the veil in my eyes fell down and everything was so clear, so sadly clear..
as someone who just reached the dead and realizes the real meaning of life.
But the knowledge is now so nonsense, so painfull, it kills twice.
Because the lovers has left, because they are walking in separate lands, so away from each other, dying, in the splendid morning, with tears of gold.
Although the distance between us becomes bigger and your sky turns of away stars,
inaccessible to me, i'll still be thinkin of you, and saying your name each second in my soul.
Never the light and the heat of your love will die to me.
I'll always keep the essence of your joyful days, of your limitless smile,
of your endless warmth.
I'll never forget that you were the most sincere and pure thing that lived in my heart,
when everything was goin and coming and was fleeting, less your love.

You are the best friend i've ever had, you knew me well, you knew my all.
Now just i agrieve in my secret sorrow world to have hurt you, what the most i loved,
my fragile pure creature.
The crime as you said, it killed my hopes and dreams, but in the river of your hopefully faith, i know your soul is still strong and pure..

When you want to give your life,
a life is not enough..



When the emotions are many, when
feelings get overflow, when words go
beyond thinking, when there is so much
to say, so much to yell, so much to
cry, so much to recover back..
When everything becomes too big and we
become too small,  when there's so
unique meaning for which to write and
leave a sign of life..
When the merit is so value, when we'd
want to take all the words, rivers, all
the smiles and tears, the all goodbye
and welcomes, all the poetry and the
most emotional songs, take all of them
in a single bunch and put them in just
one place.. nothing is enough, nothing
never is enough..

When it happens and is too much the
greatness we feel, what we think, what
it fills us, there is not words, gesture
or activity that can compensate it, and
the only thing  that can truly meant
that abysm, is not to say, not to
write, not to do anything.. Let that the emptiness, the silence, the neutral act of exposure and honesty, can mean us everything.

                                                                                        

My heart is in your hands..

     

We are two souls in the distance, crossing the time to find each-other,
it's not easy, the inisde knows it..you dream at nights, i laugh with the sun.
We are only two hearts beating to hear each-other.
This is our place, without course and time.
Living this dream that is not ours, but our heart.
Come and touch the silence,
i want to make with all the empy words the most beauty poem of love.
I'll close my eyes one moment to imagine your face. Your ayes seem so clear,
oh what beauty of your eyes made light..
Your eyes are of winter or flowers.

Your heart it's my all. Treasure where my soul is hidden.
I'm exposed and i'm not afraid of that feeling.
Your love is enough to me, the feeling that vibrates in your look.
Your life is enough for me, that is just one with mine.
My heart can not be silent, it needs to be free in the tenderness of your love.
I love you.
You are poem, song, my mandness.

I want to feel your love  as the wind's caress on my eyes closed.
I want to love each one of your gestures, to get lost into you.
Give you my innocence, embrace you as a child would.
I want to live in you, to stay in you, to forget myself in you. I love you.
My words are already not anough,
and all what remains is to become  in the lies you will never say,
in the goodbye we never tell, in that warm kiss, fettered.

I love you, not anymore for who you are or what you can give to me,
i love you totally for how i feel when i'm with you, for who i am now, to your side..
Myself, certainly more complete, unique.
Happy to have found my place to live, and it is in your heart.

Take this love, is yours. It grew up as a flame to get burned in you.
Take my tears, keep them into your eyes till the night falls above us
and embrace us strong, desperately.

Take my hands, empty, naked, yours.
We'll walk together in the coming and goin of the days and nights,
the joy more splendid and the deepest sadness.
But together, inseparable.
Take my soul, drink it to kisses, clean it with your lips, fill it with your essence.
Take my fears.. in your hands they'll be butterflies. In your heart, one beat.
Take me as i am, my existence is already yours.

         
A little memory of this story called 'love'..
Te amo
16 July, 2010.
                                                

10.10.10..

Aşkim:

The all memories about that day fill my mind right now..

There are not words to describe the meaning of this day,

but it's already written for you and me in our hearts,

and it'll stay in that way, siempre.

Seni çok seviyorum Emrem (f)

10.10.10 ♥..