LIFE

I already forgave mistakes almost unforgivable
I tried of replace irreplaceable people,
to forget unforgettable people
I already did things on impulse
I already got dissapointed with some people,
but i also made dissapointed to someone

I already embraced to protect
I already laughed when i could not
I alredy made eternal friends
I already loved and was loved, but also i was rejected
I already was loved and i didnt know how to love
I already shouted and jumped of happiness
I already lived of love and made eternal oaths,
but also i've broke them and many.

I already cried listening music and viewing photos
I already called just to hear a voice
I already fell inlove due a smile
I already thought that i'd die of nostalgia
and i had fear of losing someone special (and i ended up losing)
but i survived!

And i still live!

I dont walk just because through the life,
and you should not either..
LIVE!


It's good to go fighting with determination,
hold life and live with passion
To loose with class and win with audacity,
because the world belong to who dares
and life is much more to be insignificant.


- CHARLES CHAPLIN
(actor, producer, director, composer
 and english writer, 1889-1977)

GOD

God, give me the courage to face my problems and realize that i can solve them, that one day i'll become in a man and i'll face the truth, no matter what it is, that ambition wont be my creed and someday i can learn to depend on myself and stop to blame others for my weakness and my mistakes.
Give me courage to face life, giving all what it demands of me.


Make me waking up and realize that i should not be kept by my brother neither to kept to him. Help me to escape from the noble illusions, used in the way of cheating myself and others.


Teach me to know that you are the Beginning and the End, that it's For You that all the things are possible, that You are The WAY, The TRUTH and The LIFE.
Yours is The Kingdom, the Power and Glory, forever.

Teach me that by my actions i'll be measured. That truth will release me from the yesterday's fear, today and every morning; that truth will release me from fake proud, jealous, ambition and envy.


And with the freedom you've given to me, i'll arise over mountains and clouds and i'll see the depth, weatlth, and having done all this, i'll be dignified of myself and my place in earth.


Release me.
I'll looking for and i'll find the light of the truth.

FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL LIKE YOU..




==> Before and after all, i'll be there when you need me,
because i want you to know, the importance you have in my life.
And no matter what happen in our life,
you will always could count with me ♥..



I can't give the solutions to the all problems in your life,
neither i have all the answers to your doubts and fears,
but i can listening you and search them with you.


I can't change your past neither your future,
but when you need me, i'll be with you.
I can't avoid you to stumble,
i can only offer my hand to you
to hold it and dont fall down.


Your joys, wins and success are not mine,
but i enjoy sincerely when i see you happy.
I don't dudge the decisions you take in life.
I can just support you,
encourage and help you, if you ask to me.


I can't delineate limits about which you must to act,
but i can offer the necessary space you need to grow up.
I can't avoid your sorrows when any pain break your heart,
but i can cry with you and take up the pieces to build it again.


 I can´t tell you who you are, or who you should be.
Only i can love you as you are and be with you..
BECAUSE AS YOU ARE IS HOW I LOVE YOU.


In these days i prayed for you.
I prayed and thanked God to gave me the opportunity
of being with someone like you.

It was a prayer of thankfulness,
because you've given value to my life..
And every day i spend with you, i can only wish
to spend another day with you, endlessly
for the rest of my life.


- Jorge Luis Borges

Sadece senin için..

The Blue Grotto

"The happiness, true happiness,
it's a condition less angelic and much less enjoyable
about what people, we use to dream.
Generally people are just feeling unfortunate,
just to had believed that happiness
was a permanent feeling of endless well-being ,
of joyful ecstasy, of perpetual festival.

No, the happiness it's much less
(or maybe much more, but anyway, other thing)
and it's sure that many of those alleged unfortunate,
are truly happy, but they don't realize, not admit it,
because they think to be so far away
to the maximun well-being..

It's similar about what happened with the dissapointed
of the Blue Grotto.
What they imagined, was a fairy grotto,
they didn't know well how it was,
just that it was a fairy grotto, in return,
they got there and find that all the miracle
it's to put the hands into the water
and look at them as blue and bright.."

- Mario Benedetti, La Tregua

TACTIC AND STRATEGY




My tactic is to look at you,
to learn how you are,
to love you as you are

My tactic is to talk to you
and listen to you
to build with words
an indestructible bridge

My tactic is
to stay in your memory
i dont know how
neither with wich pretext
but to stay in you

My tactic is to be frank
and to know that you are frank
and that we don't sell ourselves
simulacrums
so that between both of us
there is not curtain
neither abysses

My strategy is, nevertheless,
deeper and simpler..
     
My strategy is
that any given day,
I don't know how
neither with which pretext

at last YOU NEED ME..













.:: Táctica y Estrategia,
Mario Benedetti ::..

LETTER TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

                                                                                                         Monday

                                                                                       November 14, 2011

                                                                                                       11:23 p.m

Amor, forgive me:

Last night i was so bad, i felt sad and down, i was hopeless because our love was dying, because it was so beauty, so pure and innocent, as a delicate flower  still without open and whose beauty garnish the garden of our home, and suddenly that love so beautiful  and pure was dyeing of sad moments, bitter, was covering of lots of pain..
amor, forgive me.


Because i didn't know to hear your silent prayers, so inconsolable, saying that you didn't feel fine, that avobe your fragile spirit also fell down the night to darken your clear eyes, so beauty but deeply sad too.. i didn't recognize your tears, your help disabled, your walking tired, i made you hurt amor, and also i was hurt..
 
I still remember your happy smile, your brilliant eyes, i remember you singing cheerful, alive, spontaneously, caressing my heart with your transparent look.

I remember when i saw you leaving to a far and unkown place and i stayed with the heart in my hand while i was looking at you leaving the place that recognized us as just one, as a
completed soul. I remember how so happy your callings made me, from that place of war, your voice covered of stars and welcomes, i was so happy in those days, they were a conviction of a love that i possesed totally, that gave me sweetness every hour, and you, you always with me, darling, always you..

I didn't want to make you cry.. yesterday when i saw your eyes so sad as the night, when i heard your voice barely audible, smooth like a whisper, i couldn't avoid to feel sad too, for your sadness and mine, to sleep separated now, in different beds, with these our arms so need to be just one flesh and only long and silent embrace.

But dont fear amor.. i'm comforted to know that right now the light of your eyes that i love, caress with their light this blank paper that fills with the words of my soul for you, words mixed in feelings so deep that it's hard for me to recognize them, separate
them, and to all of them i call with your name, all of them are you, they form you and give you place in my little world of roses and thorns.

Your name means us, means freedom and love, you have the name of the untouchable souls, but my spirit conquered you with the sunrise.

Your eyes caress the paper, yes, and my hands caress your fragile existence  in these moments, when hours are hard  and the time is cold, and as more you want to retain the heat in your heart, you are not owner of the wind that touches your face , you are just a little barque in the ocean, a little glass on my table, where i put the tears that i cry for you.
I know the sadness frost your warm body, that ties you to the bed, steal your hungry and make you sleep without sleep.
I have also sadness, amor, i get dressed with them, i sleep with them  and tell them secrets, secrets that cry and get bitter and unbearable, and whose yell to me
¡wake up! ¡wake up! ¡wake up!

I'd want to wake up amor.. i'm so disconsolate, my shadow is anymore the shwdow of my body, without pair and life, i want to hold myself in your memory, in your presence, call you as beloved, to say i love you.
And when night falls heavy, so heavy as a veil above us, i want to think in that moment that you are a bonfire, that spreads and burns everything, and whose fire revives my heart, it wakes my eyes up,  and that you think me as a midnight sun and can find my siluet reflected in your wall while you sleep, and i sing a lullaby for you.

I had to understand you needed help, understanding, tenderness.. you know what amor? it hurt me to feel that you were going away from me, that the reason could be lack of love  and you dont needed me anymore. I just wanted your affection, i didn´t want to hurt you, but you see amor, we are so fool and lack of conscience when love is the subject..
you know that my impulses take away my heart and my thought, but inside i'm just a little lost , afraid.. fragile.

I'm sorry to have hurt you amor, my immortal sweetness, my little child.
When your eyes finish to read the last line, you'll know that i love you, that sorrows are not the oblivion and distance  is not a true goodbye, that we love the most what we dont possess and i possess you with the resplendence of my soul, so that, in nights so dark like
this, your heart know that also mine cry long and bitter sadness which have your name, and that no matter what can happen between your soul and mine, they were just two lost souls looking for each-other and found already.

Beyond the heaven and time, i belong to you and you belong to me (f).

P.s I love you deeply as the first moment, our love never ends. Wherever you are, my hands are holding yours.. i send you a kiss with all of my love.
God bless you always..
                                                                                                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                Forever yours,
                                                                                                Your Anahí       
                                                                                                        ♥
           

07:03 pm

So many things hurt me..

If you..

Because you are the best what've happened in my life

thank you so much for being with me.. Te amo ♥

¿ARE YOU STILL MINE?

In my tired body there's no exist more promises anymore, dreams or desires,
only a deep and silent love, a blinded love that conquered my spirit,
that made me be free in the fullness of its essence,
that took me to the safe home of a patient love, warmth, innocent.
I loved you with my eyes looking through your soul,
with these hands that day by day harvested words of love for you,
with my tears full of feelings and pain, with my silent lips, despertare of you,
with my heart longing you as its long for eternity.


I've loved you with my impefect nature, with my sadness and troubles.
I've loved who you are, in the distance to recognize just your essence,
to satisfy myself only with your existence.
I had lived with the heat of your own longing, of your love to me.


We've been confident of each-other, friends, partners, lovers..
I've been your hands and you've been my eyes,
through which we looked the moment of a piece of precious
and lonely world to love just you and me,
without more witnesses that this love that burns each-other,
but look my love, this rose has also thorns, this love also consumes us,
it hurts so much as the abscence itself, as the oblivion,
 as a disease without cure.


Pheraps, my words can not reach anymore your frozen heart
in this premature winter,
in these cold fields where your soul takes refuge away from me..
where is your soul, why i can't find your look in front of mine..
¿Why are you hiding your heat from me?


We live just the passion of the separated lovers,
in a cruel and tortuous agony to find us,
to release in some way this fire that kills us,
that involves in ashes your need and mine.
But in the shadows of night,
when everything involves me and im little and alone,
all trembles, its getting big, it reduces me to tears,
i can only think in your sorrow and mine,
in your heart so separated and aching,
in this love that we've let to the will of wind and cold,
in a place so lonely as my heart without you.


I know i've made many mistakes, im regretfull for all of them,
and i suffer them each day, to each moment
when my eyes cross with yours in my thoughts,
to each instant when my heart remembers you
and i feel you away, so away and distant from me,
each time i see the passing of the hours and i can't stop the time,
and i can't change the world and i cant change to myself,
or change the emotions that made me to hurt you,
what i said and what i've done,
and all i can do is to tighten the lips and cry in silence.


To cry and cry for you and me, to be together and not to be,
for your absence and mine, for your love that has not roses to me anymore,
for the golden moments that had let in the memory,
for wanting to hold your hands and kiss your eyes,
say that i love you and cry in front of you,
lying down in your lap and so ashame to have hurt you,
as a little child, indefense and humble, and then you are there,
with that peacefull face, with your look always clear,
always transparent to me..


To cry, because when hours has gone,
when the fights has left behind, delayed,
when souls rest and the night is our mother,
the tears are a river that doesn't stop,
and i just want to stretch my hand in the darkness and feel yours, loving and warm,
to look into your eyes, whose are always welcomes,
i want just to touch your heart, to touch it tender and deeply
with the essence of my love, i just want to feel newly  your nearness,
of that, your frozen heart.
 

He was my best friend,
he was my guide..

Today i agrieve all what is gone, all what we have lost, for all the days and the moments
we let go away as a breath. I feel sorry that my hands can not hold yours,
that my eyes can not guide anymore the light of your green eyes.
Today i know i'll never could say goodbye to you, that never i could let go away all of you,
because even in the distance, you belong to me more that any other who can be with you,
more than yourself. You are so mine as i am of you.
You take away with you the most sincere of my soul.
I have not strength to let you go, even if i can not retain you.
In this moment, when the hours are high and the place where i am is darkens
by the colour of the night, my feelings tremble scared into my soul,
my heart is hurt and my eyes cry openly.
This abscense is too much, this abscense is desolation, is loss, is emptiness and oblivion.
When the voice of world has gone and in my empty and desert lair there is nothing more
but just my aching heart, my eyes get open painfully, i feel so alone, so poorly abandoned..
i've lost who was my best friend, and now i have just the gray and broken pieces
of a cold and hostile world.

In this frozen hour, when the world stopped, and i felt you goin away from me so quickly,
the veil in my eyes fell down and everything was so clear, so sadly clear..
as someone who just reached the dead and realizes the real meaning of life.
But the knowledge is now so nonsense, so painfull, it kills twice.
Because the lovers has left, because they are walking in separate lands, so away from each other, dying, in the splendid morning, with tears of gold.
Although the distance between us becomes bigger and your sky turns of away stars,
inaccessible to me, i'll still be thinkin of you, and saying your name each second in my soul.
Never the light and the heat of your love will die to me.
I'll always keep the essence of your joyful days, of your limitless smile,
of your endless warmth.
I'll never forget that you were the most sincere and pure thing that lived in my heart,
when everything was goin and coming and was fleeting, less your love.

You are the best friend i've ever had, you knew me well, you knew my all.
Now just i agrieve in my secret sorrow world to have hurt you, what the most i loved,
my fragile pure creature.
The crime as you said, it killed my hopes and dreams, but in the river of your hopefully faith, i know your soul is still strong and pure..

When you want to give your life,
a life is not enough..



When the emotions are many, when
feelings get overflow, when words go
beyond thinking, when there is so much
to say, so much to yell, so much to
cry, so much to recover back..
When everything becomes too big and we
become too small,  when there's so
unique meaning for which to write and
leave a sign of life..
When the merit is so value, when we'd
want to take all the words, rivers, all
the smiles and tears, the all goodbye
and welcomes, all the poetry and the
most emotional songs, take all of them
in a single bunch and put them in just
one place.. nothing is enough, nothing
never is enough..

When it happens and is too much the
greatness we feel, what we think, what
it fills us, there is not words, gesture
or activity that can compensate it, and
the only thing  that can truly meant
that abysm, is not to say, not to
write, not to do anything.. Let that the emptiness, the silence, the neutral act of exposure and honesty, can mean us everything.

                                                                                        

My heart is in your hands..

     

We are two souls in the distance, crossing the time to find each-other,
it's not easy, the inisde knows it..you dream at nights, i laugh with the sun.
We are only two hearts beating to hear each-other.
This is our place, without course and time.
Living this dream that is not ours, but our heart.
Come and touch the silence,
i want to make with all the empy words the most beauty poem of love.
I'll close my eyes one moment to imagine your face. Your ayes seem so clear,
oh what beauty of your eyes made light..
Your eyes are of winter or flowers.

Your heart it's my all. Treasure where my soul is hidden.
I'm exposed and i'm not afraid of that feeling.
Your love is enough to me, the feeling that vibrates in your look.
Your life is enough for me, that is just one with mine.
My heart can not be silent, it needs to be free in the tenderness of your love.
I love you.
You are poem, song, my mandness.

I want to feel your love  as the wind's caress on my eyes closed.
I want to love each one of your gestures, to get lost into you.
Give you my innocence, embrace you as a child would.
I want to live in you, to stay in you, to forget myself in you. I love you.
My words are already not anough,
and all what remains is to become  in the lies you will never say,
in the goodbye we never tell, in that warm kiss, fettered.

I love you, not anymore for who you are or what you can give to me,
i love you totally for how i feel when i'm with you, for who i am now, to your side..
Myself, certainly more complete, unique.
Happy to have found my place to live, and it is in your heart.

Take this love, is yours. It grew up as a flame to get burned in you.
Take my tears, keep them into your eyes till the night falls above us
and embrace us strong, desperately.

Take my hands, empty, naked, yours.
We'll walk together in the coming and goin of the days and nights,
the joy more splendid and the deepest sadness.
But together, inseparable.
Take my soul, drink it to kisses, clean it with your lips, fill it with your essence.
Take my fears.. in your hands they'll be butterflies. In your heart, one beat.
Take me as i am, my existence is already yours.

         
A little memory of this story called 'love'..
Te amo
16 July, 2010.
                                                

10.10.10..

Aşkim:

The all memories about that day fill my mind right now..

There are not words to describe the meaning of this day,

but it's already written for you and me in our hearts,

and it'll stay in that way, siempre.

Seni çok seviyorum Emrem (f)

10.10.10 ♥..

I wish i could find a word in the bottom of the silence to give it to you,

that you knew to hear it,

how much i miss you, how much i need to spend endless hours to your side,

of one day without more night that your eyes on me.

¿How longer will we wait to find the words which can discover us these feelings?

in whose now, both of us, we die in silence.

Desperate to that light that can not reach our eyes, to that denied kiss breaking our breathing, to these anxious arms whose hold the emptiness,refuge of the solitary.

How i wish to keep us in a place in the end of the world, just for both of us.
To be with you where the weaves of the sea can not touch us,

and the hours of the time can not steal the light of your eyes.

I dont want the day finishes anymore without the beating of your loving heart..♥ 

Emosh

You're the most legitimate of my affects, i always knew that my tears and my all smiles would be of you, 'coz when someone is able to be reflected in the eyes of someone else, in a true and so heartfelt way, there's not more distance than one heart beating to another. The world darkens, people get small, the hours are warm beats marking the meeting, where only exists your look and mine, and our incomprehensible thought to the world's light, and understanding of our hearts devoid of words, joining together for love and conviction, rather than by chance and fate.

Even if my hand can not rub yours, my look bare the bottom of your soul, where i look you as gentle and clear, joining your fears with mine, allowing that hope of rediscover our souls, together, belonging, but separated to meet again.

In your world of serenity and hope, i imagine you wondering why are we so far to each other.. why your hand can not find mine, when is night and you discover your empty bed, your awakening without a kiss, your dusk without someone who close your eyes..

In my world of silences and abyssms, i wonder the same, i wanted to understad, i'd like touching your soul, to feel your silence near mine, hushing the words with silent kisses, to die with the day and reborn with the dawn, in the promise to be so eternal that we can't lose each other anymore, and silent, with that look as yours as mine, embrace that hope, that feeling to belong to each other, despite the time and the distance, ourselves and everything else..

                                                                       

Temple of love

Show yourself as the light i need,
in the beauty of a clarity that i dont know.
You have the pure soul while in me
the darkness lights up,
you are a temple of roses and milk,
under your feet my hands rests tired,
you are dawn,
and im a distant sing going away
when the sunrise comes

You are the tender i never had,
the intensity of the limitless colours, and it is in those clear and beauty lines, that my soul lights up as a flame.

In your sweet words born my hope, and its warmth separated the cold,
as the branch that creaks in the tree, you were the petal and a thorn of love.

In you also my crying was made, and the hoplessness of losing the treasure never possessed.

Pearl of midnight, your existence fill my holes and my absences. My fervent heart waits you, calls you, longs for you, loves you..

For you i dared to dream, in you my desires live, i love you with the violence of the fire,
little crystalline water that awakened my thirst..

Life is calling me to love

Night has fell down and i'm alone here, feeling this moment..
a known song is coming to my ears and i think it's right,
sometimes we can be so blind..
trying to control every thing, as our posession..
But i don't want to control more things anymore,
coz i wanna release from my lock doors
and i wanna be the voice inside me,
going directly to the skies while i'm saying a prayer of love.

Life is calling me to see its beauty,
life is saying to me it is possible to reach the love
It says it's what all creatures we need, but we are so closed..
living with our closed eyes, wanting to see the light of the sun,
but closing all the windows, waiting in vain.
Being afraid to be hurt, but wanting to feel what the love is..

Life is calling me to live,
but it asks me to open my eyes and let myself be free..
I'm a moved soul, that trembles when it feels the sorrow,
the pain, the joy and the love..

I'm a pure soul hiding from the ghost of the evil,
and my heart gives roses to the promises of love.
Life is calling me to see the light of your eyes
and share its secrets with you..
I was hiding, but i found your hand to walk by your side in safe.
I was dreaming you till you came in the right time
to save my life from the silence, and give me the hope to feel..

Life is calling me to love, and my prayer is only you.

                                                        

Lieben

The love is finite but in the heat of your look

i found the door to the eternity.
Loneliness was the language of my silent lips,

but you, you taugh me to spell your name

and to belive it the sense of all what once i repressed.
The softness of your lips was always

denied to me, however,

i believe in the fire of a kiss of yours

to calcine my fears and sorrows.

Burn me..

Show me everything as a glance, under the warmness of your embrace

and then everything i could handle
because i'll have you.
The darkness never overshadow your eyes
and even your incomprehensible silence
will be learnt by me.
Free me.

Before i had seen that inexplicable

expression of your eyes.

I saw it reflected in the birth  of the most majestic dawn, and also in the dying sunset, after which, nothing  it's the same anymore.

Show yourself to me, child with warm lips and sweet and deep look. Break the ties that bind me with the emptiness and show me the way of your eyes,

     just to return to my home.