Love Never Dies...

LETTER TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

                                                                                                         Monday

                                                                                       November 14, 2011

                                                                                                       11:23 p.m

Amor, forgive me:

Last night i was so bad, i felt sad and down, i was hopeless because our love was dying, because it was so beauty, so pure and innocent, as a delicate flower  still without open and whose beauty garnish the garden of our home, and suddenly that love so beautiful  and pure was dyeing of sad moments, bitter, was covering of lots of pain..
amor, forgive me.


Because i didn't know to hear your silent prayers, so inconsolable, saying that you didn't feel fine, that avobe your fragile spirit also fell down the night to darken your clear eyes, so beauty but deeply sad too.. i didn't recognize your tears, your help disabled, your walking tired, i made you hurt amor, and also i was hurt..
 
I still remember your happy smile, your brilliant eyes, i remember you singing cheerful, alive, spontaneously, caressing my heart with your transparent look.

I remember when i saw you leaving to a far and unkown place and i stayed with the heart in my hand while i was looking at you leaving the place that recognized us as just one, as a
completed soul. I remember how so happy your callings made me, from that place of war, your voice covered of stars and welcomes, i was so happy in those days, they were a conviction of a love that i possesed totally, that gave me sweetness every hour, and you, you always with me, darling, always you..

I didn't want to make you cry.. yesterday when i saw your eyes so sad as the night, when i heard your voice barely audible, smooth like a whisper, i couldn't avoid to feel sad too, for your sadness and mine, to sleep separated now, in different beds, with these our arms so need to be just one flesh and only long and silent embrace.

But dont fear amor.. i'm comforted to know that right now the light of your eyes that i love, caress with their light this blank paper that fills with the words of my soul for you, words mixed in feelings so deep that it's hard for me to recognize them, separate
them, and to all of them i call with your name, all of them are you, they form you and give you place in my little world of roses and thorns.

Your name means us, means freedom and love, you have the name of the untouchable souls, but my spirit conquered you with the sunrise.

Your eyes caress the paper, yes, and my hands caress your fragile existence  in these moments, when hours are hard  and the time is cold, and as more you want to retain the heat in your heart, you are not owner of the wind that touches your face , you are just a little barque in the ocean, a little glass on my table, where i put the tears that i cry for you.
I know the sadness frost your warm body, that ties you to the bed, steal your hungry and make you sleep without sleep.
I have also sadness, amor, i get dressed with them, i sleep with them  and tell them secrets, secrets that cry and get bitter and unbearable, and whose yell to me
¡wake up! ¡wake up! ¡wake up!

I'd want to wake up amor.. i'm so disconsolate, my shadow is anymore the shwdow of my body, without pair and life, i want to hold myself in your memory, in your presence, call you as beloved, to say i love you.
And when night falls heavy, so heavy as a veil above us, i want to think in that moment that you are a bonfire, that spreads and burns everything, and whose fire revives my heart, it wakes my eyes up,  and that you think me as a midnight sun and can find my siluet reflected in your wall while you sleep, and i sing a lullaby for you.

I had to understand you needed help, understanding, tenderness.. you know what amor? it hurt me to feel that you were going away from me, that the reason could be lack of love  and you dont needed me anymore. I just wanted your affection, i didn´t want to hurt you, but you see amor, we are so fool and lack of conscience when love is the subject..
you know that my impulses take away my heart and my thought, but inside i'm just a little lost , afraid.. fragile.

I'm sorry to have hurt you amor, my immortal sweetness, my little child.
When your eyes finish to read the last line, you'll know that i love you, that sorrows are not the oblivion and distance  is not a true goodbye, that we love the most what we dont possess and i possess you with the resplendence of my soul, so that, in nights so dark like
this, your heart know that also mine cry long and bitter sadness which have your name, and that no matter what can happen between your soul and mine, they were just two lost souls looking for each-other and found already.

Beyond the heaven and time, i belong to you and you belong to me (f).

P.s I love you deeply as the first moment, our love never ends. Wherever you are, my hands are holding yours.. i send you a kiss with all of my love.
God bless you always..
                                                                                                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                Forever yours,
                                                                                                Your Anahí       
                                                                                                        ♥