ME DUELES..

You hurt me.

"Mildly, unbearably, you hurt me.

Take my head. Cut my neck.

There is nothing left of me after this love.

Under the rubbles of my soul, look for me,

listen to me.

In some place, my surviving voice, is calling,

asking for your amazement, your enlighted silence.

Going across walls, atmospheres, ages,

your face (your face that seems like being true)

comes from death, from before

the first day I awoke to this world.

¡What a clear face, what a softness

of abstracted light,

what a drawing of honey over water leafs!

I love your eyes, I love, I love your eyes,

I´m like the child of your eyes,

like a drop of your eyes I am.

Lift me. From your feet lift me, pick me,

from the ground, from the shadow you step on,

from the corner of your bedroom you don´t see in dreams.

Lift me. Cause I have fallen in your hands,

and wanna live, live, live."

- Jaime Sabines

Sábado 07 de Diciembre, 2013
08:24 pm

THE NEEDING OF THE WRITTER,

THE NEEDING OF THE LOVER
TO WRITE BECAUSE YOU KNOW
TO WRITE BECAUSE YOU CAN
TO WRITE BECAUSE IS ALL THAT CAN BE DONE
TO WRITE TO REACH AN EYES TO READ
TO WRITE TO REACH A HEART.

ALL LETTER NEED A RECEIVER TO WHOM REACH..

Sábado 07 Diciembre, 2013


Last night i dreamed with you..


WHAT SO HARD..


What so hard is to let go to someone who you love
what so hard is to say goodbye when you remember
what so hard is to say goodbye when you love
what so hard is to say goodbye to the memories

What so hard when the feelings are so clear in your heart
when they make you tremble, every time.. all the time
what so hard is to say goodbye when your feelings never change
when you promised they would be forever,
when actually they are..

What so hard is to renounce to the most precious thing that you have in your life
the being with more light, the most special one..

What so hard, when the heart doesn't know the oblivion
when the oblivion doesn't have memory, and always reminds you..

What so hard to wake up without you, with your memory
your painful memory..
what so hard the life, what so hard the fate
what so hard the soul, which it resists...

What so hard your life and my life, what sadness so big..
two souls which couldn't meet..

What so hard to choose, to choose live, to choose die,
to choose forget, to choose remember, to choose love
what so hard the absence, that hollow which can not be filled
that irreplaceable place..

What so hard your abyss, so immense, so deep, so demolishing
what so hard the feelings, the love that still remains in my heart, after all..
what so hard to love you, what so tough to miss you
how much sadness, how much desolation..

How many renunciations, how many 'never', hoa many 'always'
what so hard everything..

I was looking at life through your eyes..
what so hard to let you go, after to feel you so mine
when i still feel you here,
when i know you will never go..

What so hard is to live without you.. i don't want, i can't..
I will never learn how to live without you..

I cannot betray my feelings
i told you once, they'd be forever..

i cannot lie to my heart
i cannot lie to my soul


true love can not die..

Sábado 07 Diciembre, 2013

AMAN..

Mercy

of course there was before you
probably there will be after you
this is life,unknown
come see inside me it's deeper than a cliff
you left a trace that can't be removed easily

of course there was before you
probably there will be after you
this is life,unknown
come see inside me it's deeper than a cliff
you left a trace that can't be removed easily

my longing has no beginning nor ending like the sky
my longing is scattered more than salt and soil
what's the important who is right and who is guilty forget let it go
oh mercy oh mercy oh mercy

now with all its right, it's time to mourn
time to swallow all poisoned words
if the tongue of sorrow doesn't shut up,the end will surely be regret
now it is time to refuge to sleep, hope and lay down(rest)

my longing has no beginning nor ending like the sky
my longing is scattered more than salt and soil
what's the important who is right and who is guilty forget let it go
oh mercy oh mercy oh mercy doesn't give mercy

my longing has no beginning nor ending like the sky
my longing is scattered more than salt and soil
what's the important who is right and who is guilty forget let it go
oh mercy oh mercy oh mercy

Goodbye My Lover..

¿Did i disappoint you? ¿Or let you down?
¿Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.

It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover..
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me..

I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you..

Goodbye my lover..
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep..
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover..
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me..
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow..

Hasta el fin..
                                             

EMRELESS..




Come back my love, i want to hold your hand again
Come back my sweet, i want to look at you once more,
Come back my love, i want to feel your presence here
Come back to me, i want you to make my existence renew..

So loved and away you are from my life
I have lost my way, i can't find the calm
When the heart cries, the soul can only cries too
Big drops fall to the ground, fill your shadow of flowers
your memory of sighs, your name in my lips
in my dreams, in my silence..

There's no place to desperation, to tiredness, to joy,

only to this feeling in the chest, fill it up everything

My heart reminds me that i'll cry for the time has gone,

the time is going..

I realize that i miss you

and that i try looking for you into the people,

into the noise, but everything is useless

When i get alone i become more alone,

Alone everywhere, for you and me..

I dont do anything but just to wait,

to wait all day long till you dont come, 

until i fall asleep, 

and you are not here and has not coming..

and i fall asleep again,

 terribly tired, wondering..

My love, everyday,

here to my side, next to me, i miss you

Everything is grief, without you

everything is loneliness..

I dont want to be alone with your absence

I have my memory full of you and us

my heart is aching, bleeding you..

I dont want days and nights go by and die

here without you, there without me, living without us

If i only could make you understand what my heart silent

If you could understand in my silence the thousand time 

it repits 'I love you'

¿Why are you going from me, why you go away my love?

My heart still waits you, inlove..

All the mistakes become in tears, 

but still you can arise my soul as the first time again,

with a word, with your love

time after time we could hold the hope

i just want to hold us again each-other, if you let me try

Come back to me my love, come back to our place

to our memories, to our time

Whatever happens my heart is going, goin into love you

always nonstop, after all, after everything..

All i need is you with me now, as always, as before

holding each-other in the darkness, in the sorrow

when blows wind, when we can hurt..

loving to the end, hasta el fin..

Let us try to our love, dont go away from my soul..

                                   Love Never Dies, Love burns everything..

SHATTERED


Estoy contenida , a veces me desbordo, 
lo suficiente para desahogarme, pero tan sólo un poco 
para evitar romperme el corazón.
Romperme el corazón a pedazos, a lágrimas, 
a recuerdos, a vacíos, a faltas, a nuncas.

Romperme el corazón como es debido, 
con las manos al fuego por quien se dio la vida, comprada o no, 
alquilada tan sólo al deseo de amar, tan sólo un poco,
brevemente, insólitamente, ciegamente..

Estoy contenida de recuerdos, de risas, de miradas, 
conteniendo la respiración para no dejar escapar el alma,
que cuando se pierde, cuando se evapora en lágrimas, 
pareciera ser una versión anterior a mi, 
cada vez mas incompleta, cada vez mas destruida, 
drenándose en mi mirada vacía, en mis labios silentes, 
en mi corazón tembloroso.

¿Qué más me queda sino contener el alma, 
el aliento, la respiración?
Se va subiendo cada vez más alto
y tan sólo se espera llegar a la cúspide, 
una cúspide que no se conoce, 
una espera que es ausencia y mata, 
un sopor un vacío que cala los huesos, que me ensordece, 
que me devora entre sus fauces inmensas, 
y sigo sigo sigo muy arriba, 
adentrándome en el incierto momento, 
el pedregoso camino..

Subo subo subo contra mi voluntad, 
con mis alas cada vez más laceradas,
con mi palpitar moribundo,
con mi oración entrecortada.

Subo triste y desesperada los altos cielos, 
ya está anocheciendo 
y en mi corazón se mantiene la incertidumbre 
de cuándo habré de caer, al despeñadero, al olvido.
Al exilio de su corazón.



I'm contained, sometimes i overflow the enough to vent myself 
but just a little to avoid breaking my heart.
Breaking the heart to pieces, to tears, to memories, 
to hollows, to lacks, to nevers.

Breaking the heart as it must be, 
with the hands to the fire for who we gave the life, got or not, 
rented just to the wish of love, just a little, 
briefly, unusually, blindly..

I'm contained of memories, of laughings, of gazes, 
containing the breath not to let off the soul, that when gets lost, 
when it evaporates in tears, 
would seem an older version of myself, 
increasingly incomplete, increasingly destroyed, 
draining out in my empty looking, in my silent lips, 
in my trembling heart.

¿What else is left but containing the soul, 
the breath, the respiration?
I go up higher and higher and just waiting to reach the peak,
an unknown peak, a waiting that is absence and kills, 
a sopor, an emptiness which penetrate the bones, deafens me, 
that devours me into their huge jaws, 
and i'm going going going very high, 
getting further to the uncertain moment, the stony road..

I climb climb climb against my will, 
with my wings increasingly lacerated, 
with my dying throb, with my faltering prayer.

I go up so sad and desperate the high skies, 
is already getting dark 
and in my heart it keeps the uncertainty 
of when i have to fall, to the cliff, to the oblivion.
To the exile of his heart.

DÉJAME EXTRAÑARTE/
Let Me Miss You..




This poem was the first of all, the first poem on 08 june, 2010.
Their words are simple and clear, just about missing someone so much,
trying to keep their essence as much as possible, trying to hold the beloved.

Today, in that 10.10.10 i wanna share it again with you my eternal love,
because some things are true, you believe them or not, some things are powerful, you feel them or not, some things are eternal, as eternal is the power of real love.

Déjame extrañarte un poco en esta fría noche.. de alguna manera necesitaba sentir tu presencia y tu corazón vivo palpitando acompasadamente en el lugar cálido de tu pecho sereno.


Let me miss you a little in this cold night.. in someway i needed to feel your presence and your alive heart beating rhythmically in the warm place of your calm chest.


Déjame extrañarte un poco, mientras pienso en las dulces palabras que emanan de tus labios y llegan justo a mi, de una forma tan sutilmente perfecta y armoniosa.


Let me miss you a little, while i think in the sweet words that emanate from your lips and reach just to me, in a way so subtly perfect and harmonious.


Déjame extrañarte porque ahora no te tengo, por que ahora no estás y porque extrañarte es todo lo que puedo encontrar en las conexiones de mi pensamiento solitario.


Let me miss you because now i dont have you, because now you are not here and because missing you ins all what i can find in the connections of my lonely thought.


Déjame extrañarte y sentir de esa manera, con esa sensación de vacío y necesidad, que esta noche hay en mi un motivo para dejar que la sensibilidad que guardaba, alce sus delicadas fibras y me cubra en ellas.


Let me miss you and feel in that way, with that sensation of emptiness and needing, that tonight there is a reason to let that the sensibility that i was keeping, arise their delicate fibers and cover me into them.


Déjame extrañarte como sólo yo puedo hacerlo después de tanto tiempo de vivir con tu ausencia, en noches tan iguales a ésta.


Let me miss you as i can only do, after so long to live with your absence, in nights so similar to this.


Déjame extrañarte como se extrañan las risas y los abrazos que compaginan a dos personas en una sola.


Let me miss you as we miss the laughs and hugs  which combine to two people in just one.


Déjame extrañarte un poco en esta fría noche y esperaré quizás que el sueño te traiga con él..


Let me miss you a little in this cold night and i'll wait that maybe the sleeping brings you with it..

I CHOSE US..

Sometimes we can loving so much to someone as we can only love once in the life, so deeply, with so much love and so many tears too, because the love without tears, without sorrow, it can not be called a complete love, a real love.. we love what we suffer, we suffer what we love, and the more you love someone, the pain is deeper, stronger and durable..

I love someone in that way in my life, with so much love in my heart for that person, but also with so much pain.. 
With so much love because that person has been unique for me, since i know him, he knew how to be getting into my mind and heart, his tenderness and other qualities captivated me, and i fell in love with him.. i love him because with him i feel in a safe place, because he knows who i am, he knows what i think, what i feel, what i fear, he has seen my tears, he has discovered me..

To feel love in that case is something so natural, so spontaneous.. but also it feels painfully.. pain not to be with the person you love, pain because of the distance, 
due the absence, not to know how will it fit his hand into yours, to cry alone, even worse, because that person dont even know that you cry for him..

¿How many feelings would be lost in that way? without to be listened, without to be felt, without looking the tears in the face..
It hurts me that that person dont know how much i love him, that he dont know how many hours i think on him, how so deep are my feelings, it hurts me that my feelings must die in the anonymity without to be perceived, without to express that for which they were born.

It hurts me to think that that person can believe that my feelings are the result of something wrong in my head, the doctors call it, ocd.
It hurts me to think that he can believe that my sorrow for his absence, the intensity of my feelings, the deep of my love dont be legitimate, that is not born from my heart, but my obsessions.
It hurts me to think that he doesnt feel that same deepness of my afection, that he can confuse the interest of my questions with anxiety of my mind, that he doesnt believe in my love, its profundity.

¿What can it be done to show someone how much you love? To show the intangible, that which is carried in the heart? I've always thought that the words communicate very well that what we think or feel, i think that there where the voice is silent, where lonelines does not let speak, the words shout, the words express, the words fill a hollow in our heart.. thats why i've always give my words to him, because i want to think that each time when he read them or hear them, he can understand better what i feel for him, he can remember my words in each ocassion when he need them, is a gift from me to him, however, maybe they are only words for him, empty words, which are not filling any hollow in his heart, that not light up any dark room, that not heated the cold of his soul, that not put a smile on his lips, that not accelerate the beating of his heart, that not reflect my 
love, that not refelct the passion of my soul..

¿How to know what is passion from what is dependence? ¿How to distinguish what is needing someone from what is anxiety? ¿How to show someone how much we care, how can get in the deep of their soul, their senses, their mind, into their heart? For me, everything is clear in my heart..

I have so much to give, a whole life..
a heart that loves, a heart that cries,
an eyes which look and denude a soul,
a hands which want to hold a dream, an embrace
a mouth thirsty to say i love you,
a lips avid  to kiss the love
a mind full of memories and fantasies,
of plans and dreams
a voice that want to pronounce always the same name,
that calls it deeply, in the loneliness, in the darkness, 
in the hard moments, in the happy ones..
I have a heart that beats,
a heart that has been given to me to love someone with all my strenght,
a heart to live..
not a heart to be broken, to be of glass,
not to be given someone..
i chose give it, i chose live,
i chose suffer, i chose love..

I just want to give my all love to that person, i wish that my love was enough for him, to make him happy, i wish that his heart would not break, that he could need me with the same intensity, that he understood that my words dont want to attached him, they want to understand him, that my questions dont want to questioning him,, 
they only want to know him, that my longing dont want to overwhelm him, only loving him.. to love as we love to our parents, to our siblings, to our the most loved ones,  namely, in a unique and excepional way, eternal one, deep, immense, intense, no matter what.. to love, because to love is the only aim of our lives, because we all dream with to love and be loved, because maybe once you can love in your life, maybe once you can be loved by someone else, but to love and be corresponded by that same person you love, that is priceless, that is the higher goal to live.

If my love could touch you, it would already touched you from here with my huge wings, with my wings of fire, of tears, of passion, of love, of tenderness, of warmness.. That's me, the little girl who loves, who want to give everything, who doesnt know how to do to express it, who in exchange just want to be corresponded for the man she loves, that's me,  not the girl with ocd, simply the girl with an alive heart to give.

His Magic On Me


I can't stand it

when i think of him so badly, desperately
and i can't stand it..
his distance, not to hold me
and there's not word to explain, just emotion feeling inside.
It's just about fragility..                            


There's not body anymore but just a pile on fire,
burning till consume with crying
with desperate hands because of a touch
desperate lips because of a kiss
desperate soul because of his love..
and find myself in the only person i can reflect as mirror on him, without no shell when i look into his eyes and they explain the meaning of life to me, the things which matters, his silence.. his terrible silence where i want to find words as to find golden in a stone..
where i stop recognizing myself to recognize him, so perfect to me, so ideal, beyond of my strenght

The only person i can reflect as a mirror..

And that mirror reflects a little girl hiding from the world as a palid rose hiding into thorns,
feeling in safe with the only man she has trust..
This is the most terrible passion

because i want to take off all of him, and i want him to take off all of me..
always wanting more, more, always more, each time and day, nights and dawns too.. because there are not limits for love, there''s not empty hour without feeling

There's not that kind of magic even in the real storms, but he can make shaking my heart, trembling my body deeply without to touch..
his magic is unreal, he can make trembling all of my balance just with looking at me, only with a simple word.. just to be there.. with his soul dancing mine in the silence, living without to know the poison of his magic on me, his powerful magic on me..

Lacrimosa - Darkness









My heart, my love
one word, and gone
to stay, i will
believe, and pray
to see, to feel
to hear, to be and gone
how can i get close to you?
how can i the foolish one?
LOVE can't be seen but only kissed, but only kissed
i have so much love to give
but where are you and how to be reached?
Can i talk, can i speak?
and can i lay my head on you?
can i choose and can i say
i love you!!!
Darkness surrounding me
my head hangs LOU
your arms are far
your breath takes me
besides i am in love
i'm loving you but you
so far from me i'm holding out
your words your face your breath
your touch your heart should cover me
but all you do is watching me
so i dismiss the grace of you
and far beyond the darkness grows
which leads me back to all my roots
the longing and the pain
in darkness and disgrace
the longing and the pain
in darkness and disgrace
Beauty can't be seen but only kissed, but only kissed
i have so much love to give
but where are you and how to be reached?
Beauty can't be seen but only kissed, but only kissed
i have so much love to give
but where are you and how to be reached?
how to be reached?
how to be reached?


This is what i feel for you mi vida, each time, each day, each night since i love you..
That song says a lot about me and about you, about my love for you..

and each time when i listen it it can take its biggest expression as remembering you, just with the only way it can be when words aren't enough to express what the heart feels,

With tears..

¿Remember this mi amor?

Once in the video you made for me, you said, that image was holding your hopes..

You said this meant the heaven for us, our heaven to be..

I saw that image recently and i couldn't hold the many emotions, my love..

It was to remember our earlier hopes, our first dreams, 

the dreaming scenarios to make our love come true..

Yes mi amor.. that image is still holding my hopes too,

this is all what i want to reach with you,

our own moments of eternity,

our own place in the life to spend life as together..

Te amo..

Mi amor..

I want to tell you something my love, a secret..

I spent many nights thinking in you, as i always do..lying in my bed i was tying to find the correct words to reach your heart, i was trying to make poetry, holding special words to be given to you, as flowers in your hands

Oh.. ¿how many days and nights i tried to write my soul, to make my heart speak? and i realized something happened.. Only when i was talking to myself, in the intimacy of my feelings, the words were spoken all clear and correct, all naked and perfectly reflectling all what i wanted to say.. 

Now, many days and nights have gone away and there was not poetry on here to be given you..

Only forgotten words, forgotten poetry

Empty lines, empty space..

But you are perfect poetry mi amor,

you are endless song for my heart..

¿What if i only let my heart speaking to its own rythm? 

This is me now, my heart speaking again, to your distance, to your soul..

I should not care the words anymore n its armony,

just let my heart speak, in all languages,

in all forms of the love,

even if the love has an only way for me..

Always you..  

So i hope my words can find the way of your heart again,

Just let me be into your love again, my darling,

let me be into you..