TACTIC AND STRATEGY




My tactic is to look at you,
to learn how you are,
to love you as you are

My tactic is to talk to you
and listen to you
to build with words
an indestructible bridge

My tactic is
to stay in your memory
i dont know how
neither with wich pretext
but to stay in you

My tactic is to be frank
and to know that you are frank
and that we don't sell ourselves
simulacrums
so that between both of us
there is not curtain
neither abysses

My strategy is, nevertheless,
deeper and simpler..
     
My strategy is
that any given day,
I don't know how
neither with which pretext

at last YOU NEED ME..













.:: Táctica y Estrategia,
Mario Benedetti ::..

LETTER TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

                                                                                                         Monday

                                                                                       November 14, 2011

                                                                                                       11:23 p.m

Amor, forgive me:

Last night i was so bad, i felt sad and down, i was hopeless because our love was dying, because it was so beauty, so pure and innocent, as a delicate flower  still without open and whose beauty garnish the garden of our home, and suddenly that love so beautiful  and pure was dyeing of sad moments, bitter, was covering of lots of pain..
amor, forgive me.


Because i didn't know to hear your silent prayers, so inconsolable, saying that you didn't feel fine, that avobe your fragile spirit also fell down the night to darken your clear eyes, so beauty but deeply sad too.. i didn't recognize your tears, your help disabled, your walking tired, i made you hurt amor, and also i was hurt..
 
I still remember your happy smile, your brilliant eyes, i remember you singing cheerful, alive, spontaneously, caressing my heart with your transparent look.

I remember when i saw you leaving to a far and unkown place and i stayed with the heart in my hand while i was looking at you leaving the place that recognized us as just one, as a
completed soul. I remember how so happy your callings made me, from that place of war, your voice covered of stars and welcomes, i was so happy in those days, they were a conviction of a love that i possesed totally, that gave me sweetness every hour, and you, you always with me, darling, always you..

I didn't want to make you cry.. yesterday when i saw your eyes so sad as the night, when i heard your voice barely audible, smooth like a whisper, i couldn't avoid to feel sad too, for your sadness and mine, to sleep separated now, in different beds, with these our arms so need to be just one flesh and only long and silent embrace.

But dont fear amor.. i'm comforted to know that right now the light of your eyes that i love, caress with their light this blank paper that fills with the words of my soul for you, words mixed in feelings so deep that it's hard for me to recognize them, separate
them, and to all of them i call with your name, all of them are you, they form you and give you place in my little world of roses and thorns.

Your name means us, means freedom and love, you have the name of the untouchable souls, but my spirit conquered you with the sunrise.

Your eyes caress the paper, yes, and my hands caress your fragile existence  in these moments, when hours are hard  and the time is cold, and as more you want to retain the heat in your heart, you are not owner of the wind that touches your face , you are just a little barque in the ocean, a little glass on my table, where i put the tears that i cry for you.
I know the sadness frost your warm body, that ties you to the bed, steal your hungry and make you sleep without sleep.
I have also sadness, amor, i get dressed with them, i sleep with them  and tell them secrets, secrets that cry and get bitter and unbearable, and whose yell to me
¡wake up! ¡wake up! ¡wake up!

I'd want to wake up amor.. i'm so disconsolate, my shadow is anymore the shwdow of my body, without pair and life, i want to hold myself in your memory, in your presence, call you as beloved, to say i love you.
And when night falls heavy, so heavy as a veil above us, i want to think in that moment that you are a bonfire, that spreads and burns everything, and whose fire revives my heart, it wakes my eyes up,  and that you think me as a midnight sun and can find my siluet reflected in your wall while you sleep, and i sing a lullaby for you.

I had to understand you needed help, understanding, tenderness.. you know what amor? it hurt me to feel that you were going away from me, that the reason could be lack of love  and you dont needed me anymore. I just wanted your affection, i didn´t want to hurt you, but you see amor, we are so fool and lack of conscience when love is the subject..
you know that my impulses take away my heart and my thought, but inside i'm just a little lost , afraid.. fragile.

I'm sorry to have hurt you amor, my immortal sweetness, my little child.
When your eyes finish to read the last line, you'll know that i love you, that sorrows are not the oblivion and distance  is not a true goodbye, that we love the most what we dont possess and i possess you with the resplendence of my soul, so that, in nights so dark like
this, your heart know that also mine cry long and bitter sadness which have your name, and that no matter what can happen between your soul and mine, they were just two lost souls looking for each-other and found already.

Beyond the heaven and time, i belong to you and you belong to me (f).

P.s I love you deeply as the first moment, our love never ends. Wherever you are, my hands are holding yours.. i send you a kiss with all of my love.
God bless you always..
                                                                                                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                Forever yours,
                                                                                                Your Anahí       
                                                                                                        ♥
           

07:03 pm

So many things hurt me..

If you..

Because you are the best what've happened in my life

thank you so much for being with me.. Te amo ♥

¿ARE YOU STILL MINE?

In my tired body there's no exist more promises anymore, dreams or desires,
only a deep and silent love, a blinded love that conquered my spirit,
that made me be free in the fullness of its essence,
that took me to the safe home of a patient love, warmth, innocent.
I loved you with my eyes looking through your soul,
with these hands that day by day harvested words of love for you,
with my tears full of feelings and pain, with my silent lips, despertare of you,
with my heart longing you as its long for eternity.


I've loved you with my impefect nature, with my sadness and troubles.
I've loved who you are, in the distance to recognize just your essence,
to satisfy myself only with your existence.
I had lived with the heat of your own longing, of your love to me.


We've been confident of each-other, friends, partners, lovers..
I've been your hands and you've been my eyes,
through which we looked the moment of a piece of precious
and lonely world to love just you and me,
without more witnesses that this love that burns each-other,
but look my love, this rose has also thorns, this love also consumes us,
it hurts so much as the abscence itself, as the oblivion,
 as a disease without cure.


Pheraps, my words can not reach anymore your frozen heart
in this premature winter,
in these cold fields where your soul takes refuge away from me..
where is your soul, why i can't find your look in front of mine..
¿Why are you hiding your heat from me?


We live just the passion of the separated lovers,
in a cruel and tortuous agony to find us,
to release in some way this fire that kills us,
that involves in ashes your need and mine.
But in the shadows of night,
when everything involves me and im little and alone,
all trembles, its getting big, it reduces me to tears,
i can only think in your sorrow and mine,
in your heart so separated and aching,
in this love that we've let to the will of wind and cold,
in a place so lonely as my heart without you.


I know i've made many mistakes, im regretfull for all of them,
and i suffer them each day, to each moment
when my eyes cross with yours in my thoughts,
to each instant when my heart remembers you
and i feel you away, so away and distant from me,
each time i see the passing of the hours and i can't stop the time,
and i can't change the world and i cant change to myself,
or change the emotions that made me to hurt you,
what i said and what i've done,
and all i can do is to tighten the lips and cry in silence.


To cry and cry for you and me, to be together and not to be,
for your absence and mine, for your love that has not roses to me anymore,
for the golden moments that had let in the memory,
for wanting to hold your hands and kiss your eyes,
say that i love you and cry in front of you,
lying down in your lap and so ashame to have hurt you,
as a little child, indefense and humble, and then you are there,
with that peacefull face, with your look always clear,
always transparent to me..


To cry, because when hours has gone,
when the fights has left behind, delayed,
when souls rest and the night is our mother,
the tears are a river that doesn't stop,
and i just want to stretch my hand in the darkness and feel yours, loving and warm,
to look into your eyes, whose are always welcomes,
i want just to touch your heart, to touch it tender and deeply
with the essence of my love, i just want to feel newly  your nearness,
of that, your frozen heart.
 

He was my best friend,
he was my guide..

Today i agrieve all what is gone, all what we have lost, for all the days and the moments
we let go away as a breath. I feel sorry that my hands can not hold yours,
that my eyes can not guide anymore the light of your green eyes.
Today i know i'll never could say goodbye to you, that never i could let go away all of you,
because even in the distance, you belong to me more that any other who can be with you,
more than yourself. You are so mine as i am of you.
You take away with you the most sincere of my soul.
I have not strength to let you go, even if i can not retain you.
In this moment, when the hours are high and the place where i am is darkens
by the colour of the night, my feelings tremble scared into my soul,
my heart is hurt and my eyes cry openly.
This abscense is too much, this abscense is desolation, is loss, is emptiness and oblivion.
When the voice of world has gone and in my empty and desert lair there is nothing more
but just my aching heart, my eyes get open painfully, i feel so alone, so poorly abandoned..
i've lost who was my best friend, and now i have just the gray and broken pieces
of a cold and hostile world.

In this frozen hour, when the world stopped, and i felt you goin away from me so quickly,
the veil in my eyes fell down and everything was so clear, so sadly clear..
as someone who just reached the dead and realizes the real meaning of life.
But the knowledge is now so nonsense, so painfull, it kills twice.
Because the lovers has left, because they are walking in separate lands, so away from each other, dying, in the splendid morning, with tears of gold.
Although the distance between us becomes bigger and your sky turns of away stars,
inaccessible to me, i'll still be thinkin of you, and saying your name each second in my soul.
Never the light and the heat of your love will die to me.
I'll always keep the essence of your joyful days, of your limitless smile,
of your endless warmth.
I'll never forget that you were the most sincere and pure thing that lived in my heart,
when everything was goin and coming and was fleeting, less your love.

You are the best friend i've ever had, you knew me well, you knew my all.
Now just i agrieve in my secret sorrow world to have hurt you, what the most i loved,
my fragile pure creature.
The crime as you said, it killed my hopes and dreams, but in the river of your hopefully faith, i know your soul is still strong and pure..

When you want to give your life,
a life is not enough..



When the emotions are many, when
feelings get overflow, when words go
beyond thinking, when there is so much
to say, so much to yell, so much to
cry, so much to recover back..
When everything becomes too big and we
become too small,  when there's so
unique meaning for which to write and
leave a sign of life..
When the merit is so value, when we'd
want to take all the words, rivers, all
the smiles and tears, the all goodbye
and welcomes, all the poetry and the
most emotional songs, take all of them
in a single bunch and put them in just
one place.. nothing is enough, nothing
never is enough..

When it happens and is too much the
greatness we feel, what we think, what
it fills us, there is not words, gesture
or activity that can compensate it, and
the only thing  that can truly meant
that abysm, is not to say, not to
write, not to do anything.. Let that the emptiness, the silence, the neutral act of exposure and honesty, can mean us everything.